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Perspectives, Uncategorized

Kim’s Kash: You Should Kare

The news has been overrun by the most trivial of topics today, such as Donald Trump’s depressing excuse for hair and Hillary’s slightly concerning obsession with pant suits. As if we millennials care about bipartisan politics and who’s going to be running our country for the next four years of our lives. That, my friends, is not real news.


We’ve all been so distracted by Twitter, frantically stressing about when the clowns will finally invade our campus (please, for the love of God, ditch the idea of dressing up as a clown for Halloween – I may or may not punch you) that we’ve overlooked an issue that is paramount to any event in recent history: Kim Kardashian was robbed! At gun point! In Paris!


Over the years, Kim Kardashian’s rise to fame has been quite controversial. Her father, Robert Kardashian, was one of the infamous lawyers who defended the former NFL running back, broadcaster, actor, and convicted felon Orenthal (yes, it’s Orenthal) James Simpson, better known as O.J. Simpson. She starred in an adult film which catapulted her to fame, landing her and her family the reality TV show Keeping Up with the Kardashians. You’re lying if you say you’ve never watched it before. She was married for 72 days (an impressive feat if I do say so myself) and is now the wife of famed Chicago rapper Kanye West. Of all of these endeavors, not one took the slightest bit of skill, intellect, or hard work. Yet for some reason everywhere I look, I see Kim. Whether it be on my Twitter feed exposing Taylor Swift or on my TV screen tied up in a bathtub, she’s always there.


On the night of Kanye West’s performance at Meadows Music & Arts Festival, his set was tragically cut short once he was informed that his wife had been robbed at gunpoint by two men in ski masks at her hotel in Paris while attending Paris Fashion Week. “I’m sorry, family emergency, I have to stop the show,” Kanye explained abruptly before storming off the stage, crushing the dreams of thousands of fans who’d waited weeks to see him in person. Thereafter, the internet was swamped with claims that Kim had been robbed.


So why isn’t everyone talking about this?! I, obviously, knew vaguely of the incident. A reality star whose fame stems from virtually none of her own achievements was robbed at gunpoint and our major news networks have failed us; they continued to cover a topic as meaningless as the future of the U.S. rather than the tragic events that unfolded in Kim Kardashian’s hotel room on the night of October 2. Whether you love Kim Kardashian or not, you have to admit this was a highlight (or horror) to add to your day. Finally, I suggest we stop paying attention to the oompa loompa with the wicked toupée and absurd meme queen that plague our TVs regularly and start focusing on real, imperative issues of today, like the notorious heist of Kim Kardashian.